I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
