i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize