I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
