the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
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