I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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