Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
