brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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