Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
