Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
