that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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