Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
