As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
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