I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
