He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Couch. On fire.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize