or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
