i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
