More tranny stories later!
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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