she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
