she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Randomize
