Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
