im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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