I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
