My girlfriend figured out who you are.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I don't deserve a penis
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
