you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
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