benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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