My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
