Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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