Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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