Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
