so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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