i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
