someone owes me an orgasm
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
