there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
