check it out our google latitudes are spooning
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
We left an ass print on the piano.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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