So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I fill condoms, not promises.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
