Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
