Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The air taste purple.
Randomize
