I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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