if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
