If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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