I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
