Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
