My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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