I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
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