No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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