Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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