I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
