Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize