So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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