Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
