for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
