I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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