You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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