How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
