that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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