: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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