dude i'm inner monologue high
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
