Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
