i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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