Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize