U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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