don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Randomize
