Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
