well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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