Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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