i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
