you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
