Having a random hookup so left but love u
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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