So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Randomize
