I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
