drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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