youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
