I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
