so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
