Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
