I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
