he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize