I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
