tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
