Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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