I'm jealous of your bromance
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
