just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
